A Year of Firsts, Thirds and ‘Onlies’

The Young family rode ponies, got hurt and took to the stage

This year started off cold, got kind of hot, then cooled off again. Oh wait — that’s the weather report, not a year-end family update. It’s always a safe topic, though, because everyone cares about the weather.

Speaking of which, I sure hope your part of the country got enough precipitation this year. Adequate rainfall is better than a plate of homemade Christmas cookies from the neighbor. If you’ve been really good all year, maybe you’ll get both.

Here are some of my family’s high points for 2024.

Ponies

Our kids started three ponies this year. Well, one was a Shetland, so it was more like two-and-a-half ponies. The littlest one was the orneriest. Pony, not child. Although, that’s not an untrue statement to also apply to my littlest child — or any of them, really. They had better straighten up as we approach the finish line if they want Santa to leave anything besides road apples in their stockings.

Injuries

As of this writing, my daughter is the only member of our family who has not ended up in the emergency room this year. It’s not 2025 yet; she still has time to snap an arm or bounce her head off the fireplace. Just to be safe, I’ll put in a request for Santa to bring her a helmet for household use.

I took a trip to the emergency room this spring when some lab results came back abnormal. In the name of hydration, I accidentally drank so much water that I flushed too much sodium out of my system. I no longer chuckle and shake my head when my kids crouch down and lick a salt block in the pasture — I elbow them out of the way so I can take a turn, too.

My husband hurt his back again, which surprised no one. He branched out from his usual fractured vertebrae and wound up with a ruptured disc. The pain level between the two injuries seemed comparable, judging by the number of times he said, “No, it doesn’t hurt,” while unable to stand fully upright.

Following in their dad’s boot steps, both our sons also incurred serious injuries in 2024. The older one broke his arm jumping his bike off a pond bank, and the younger one got a concussion in the world’s slowest bike crash. Mom didn’t wait for Santa but instead immediately issued him a helmet for everyday use.

Open mics

In between dealing with medical emergencies, I decided to adapt my written comedy for stage performances this year. At first, I practiced jokes around the ranch and delivered punchlines to the horses and calves. Then, I started performing at a comedy club in town, much to the relief of the local livestock. The local comedy fans also laughed, which was much to my relief. I’ve already booked two shows for 2025, so the ranch animals better brace themselves for more comedy bits at feeding time.

I hope you all enjoy a holiday season filled with family, friends, good health and lots of snow. Try not to grumble too much if you don’t like the white stuff — remember the whole precipitation thing?

Whether snowy or dusty, thanks for joining me and my family on our journey through 2024. Merry Christmas and happy new year!

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