Bad Words Ahead

When it comes to a horse colicking, one can’t help but wince at the words that might be used.

Warning: This post may contain bad words.

First things first, let’s dive in. It’s the worst of the worst. Yes, that “C” word — COLIC.

As I write this blog, I’m in the midst of one. Probably a good 20% of my readers are going through the same thing right now. You all know how it is. Horses get stomachaches. The weather changes. Something in the middle of one bale is a little off. They are up, down, tossing or just standing a little funny. Maybe their stool is loose. Or, not loose enough. Ulcers. Stress. Gas. Twists. Mild or violent, it’s a problem. However we slice it, it’s UNCOMFORTABLE for all. I’ve been exposed to it plenty in my career. After plenty of bouts with the C word with horses of all ages, I do know it’s often remedied with a varied, magical combo of drugs, electrolytes, fluids and prayers. But sometimes, we, meaning me in this instance today, have to load our horse in the trailer and head to the “D” word.

Yep — the DOCTOR (well, to the vets, that is.) Bless ’em. Though it’s not their fault that sometimes I take their name in vain, I can’t help but spit it out of my mouth when I must travel there unannounced during emergency hours. I truly appreciate my animal doctors, but most of the time, when I see them, I wish I didn’t have to. They do their best. They run tests, assess the issues, give medicine when necessary and have a sharp eye on the situation. Meanwhile, I head home, sans horse, and wait for the call. I keep telling myself no news is good news. (Is it?) Mostly, I’m just hoping and trying to sidestep saying another bad word… This time, it begins with “S.”

SURGERY. Yep, he might potentially be a candidate if he can’t get through this without intervention. Nope, I don’t want to do it. It is serious, risky, expensive and the recovery has the potential to be lengthy. It’s another one of those words I hate hearing and making a part of my vocabulary. So, let’s move on.

We could dwell on some of the other awful terms: Displacement. Tortion. Impaction. Gas. Infection. Colitis. But it’s preferable not to hear any of that uttered.

My phone’s ringing. It’s them. One moment.

Well, oddly enough, they threw the “F” word at me. I’m not in the least insulted. In fact, it’s one of the best things I’ve heard in a long time.

He is going to be FINE!!!

Hot dang.

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